Monday, 27 July 2015

Medical Monday

*HOX*  it is best not to be eating while reading this post.....*Warning*

Now before we start this little saga, rest assured that all is now well, Loyal Readers. But be warned, it is not pretty and be very grateful that the innerwebs have not been developed to transmit smells. Veikko is sitting all innocently here, but my goodness, looks can be deceptive.
On Friday morning Äiti was surprised when Veikko did not leap out of bed to get his brekkie, and when she pushed a bowl in front of him he sniffed and then retched. She though he might have a tummy ache so left him to snooze  - while she went and trotted 15km on her stoopy training for a marathon plan. She came home later and he had not moved and was not happy. More retching. So she called ystävämme eläinlääkäri who was trying to pack up to start her holiday, but she dutifully asked that Veikko be brought in to the surgery to be checked. And Äiti learnt that yökki means retching - put it onto google translate and press audio, and you will find that Finnish can indeed be onomatopoeic!
So, Veikko had a röntgen which thankfully revealed no nasty stomach contents - the nekkid eats just about everything so this was a real fear. However it did reveal lots of black in the bowels, meaning gas. So ystävämme eläinlääkäri sent Äiti away while Veikko was sedated so his throat could be looked at  - panicky pet servants during these procedures are not helpful so Äiti was kicked out, hehehehe. Anyway, ultrasounds were taken and surgery discussed as palpitations were made - what was wrong with him ?
And then the source appeared: fetid feline flatulence escaped.......... In his relaxed state, the poking and prodding had enabled a stream of very, very (and many more veries) stinky poop had emerged, along with vast volumes of gas. Veikko, who previously had pooped roses and had very well behaved bowels, let it rip! That gas on the X-ray was revealed to be a true Weapon of Mass Destruction. 
Happy that a 'gastric disturbance' was the cause of Veikko's discomfort, the two vets (who by now were in need of breathing apparatus) decided surgery was not necessary as this must have been making him unwell. Basically he needed to fart a lot. So they jabbed him with various stuffs and gave him fluids at which point Äiti reappeared to see a huge lump appearing on Veikko. Do not worry, Loyal Readers, this was just saline which soon dissipated - it was necessary to rehydrate him after all that loss of squitty shitty fluid.

The offending poop was so offensive Äiti was told to take a stool sample and bring it to the lab. She pointed to Veikko's leaky bottom and asked if there was not enough still squidging out for a sample. There was, and it was duly collected and parcelled up. As part of the deal Äiti agreed to take it to the post office to get it sent that day. She was greatly amused to think that those lovely people at her local posti would never guess what was inside this package.
We are happy to report that in the car Veikko produced even more gas and Äiti was choking. Of course we now realise that there will be reports of bad air in Oulu on the national news as various lethal hydrocarbons are detected, and the global temperature will rise as these are bound to be noxious greenhouse gases, but the main thing is that Veikko is feeling a zillion per cent better. He has eaten countless pouches of food and snuggled up with Äiti at night for cuddles. He is his old self and his body is functioning normally. He has some pills to take (good luck Äiti!) but is fine.

18 comments:

rainbow said...

Poor Veikko! We are sending strong healing purrs and our paws are crossed for his continued recovery - and no more bad smells!
Purrs ... Rainbow

RagingMoon1987 said...

One of ours had to be hospitalized this weekend too. We still don't know how Nimbus is feeling. I'm glad your baby is on the road to recovery.

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

That was PAWSOME Veikko! Can you do that at will? Can you teach us how?

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Good job, Newkkid! I wish there really was smellovision ;-)

Katnip Lounge said...

**calculating how long for the smell to hit Vegas**

Better Out than IN, Veikko! We are elebenty kinds of happy you are OK, and what a story to tell in the future!

Summer said...

I'm glad Veikko is feeling better - I am also glad that smells do not transmit over the internet!

Angel Prancer Pie said...

So shall he be called "Squire Stinks A Lot"?
Hee-hee!
Seriously, we are very happy Veikko is ok.
XOXO

Anonymous said...

poor Veikko! It happens though: there is a Finnish film called Kaasua Komisario Palmu. It tells a similar story ;)

Kaisun said...

OMG! I ment to write you and ask if there's a stomach (read: poop) issue with Veikko. But You and the nakked one were faster. :) I look forward to see and read, if this gas leak follows into any spesific diagnose. Regretting Non-Smelly Regards,
-K

When the Cat is Away said...

Oh my. Poor Äiti!! I'm so glad Veikko didn't need surgery. I'm still wondering though if ystävänne eläinlääkäri found out what caused this horror gas?

And wow - you can get a saturday delivery at posti? I didn't know that! (And yökki is a new word for me too!)

Kari said...

What caused this to happen? A stricture maybe? Do the vets think it might happen again?
We're so relieved our nekked sweetheart is feeling better. Kiss him for us, please.

Flynn said...

I am glad Veikko is feeling better. My mum sympathises with the vets and Aiti. She says when I was really ill she has never smelled anything as foul as my poops. She said they made ordinary smelly poops smell like roses.

Anonymous said...

Huh PPP.
I scared stuff like this. Fortunately Veikko did not produced more gas into his stomach. Otherwise he would have been become ballon and he would have risen into the air. Scared.

Stay cool Veikko and stay on the ground. There is nothing to fear - our King takes care everyone with äitis help.

Lilla-Ebba

Jenna said...

Oh, my goodness! We hope this is just a one time thing for Veikko (and those who suffer along with him).

The Swiss Cats said...

We're glad Veikko feels better and didn't need surgery ! We could almost get the smell by reading your post MOL ! Purrs

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

OH good heavens! Wow! I can imagine what that sample is going to smell like sitting in a hot mail vehicle all day... the person who delivers it is going to need a gas mask! And here *I* worry about the poor postmen when I send nip toys in the mail! This is worse, much worse! MOL!!! Glad Veikko is feeling better though!

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Poor guy- I am glad that was the problem and nothing worse.

Just Ducky said...

Global warming is for real. We hope that box didn't say "Lethal poops inside".